It’s A Match!

Our match meeting went great!  The meeting itself, as you might imagine, was a little awkward.  Perfect strangers talking about having one person carry the other people’s baby.  Throw in another stranger facilitating the discussion.  And do it all via Skype.  Most of the call consisted of the facilitator from the agency asking questions of the IFs and of Shane and I, most of which we had already answered and shared with one another in our profiles.  So, there really wasn’t any new information being shared during the call. It sort of felt like the IFs were just kind of going through the motions for most of the call.  But at the end of our call, they brought their 18 month old daughter on (also born via surrogate) so we could meet her and the IFs completely lit up and were so incredibly happy in that moment – I knew right then that they were the ones for us! Shane felt it too! The IFs must have had a good feeling as well because the next day we both informed the agency that we want to move forward together!  (Well, actually, I emailed the agency about three minutes after the Skype call. 😄).

Since then, we’ve been starting to get to know each other via text and Skype.   And the IFs, R and E, plan to come to MN to visit us sometime in the near future.  As we’re building our relationship with R and E, it reminds me of dating.  Anxiously awaiting their messages, feeling excited when I hear from them…

Our next step is to complete the contract and schedule the transfer.  Very, very, very exciting!!!!!


Why Do I Want To Be A Surrogate?

I love being pregnant.  Most people look at me like I’m crazy when I say this. But I do! Stretch marks, nausea, frequent urination, all of it – I think the miracle of pregnancy is magical.  Feeling a little person dancing around inside of you is simply amazing.

I always knew that I wanted to be a mom and the days that my children were born were the best days of my life.  My dreams came true, I got my happily ever after, and now I can’t wait to help someone else get theirs.

Some might wonder how I could give up a baby I’ve carried for 9 months?  Won’t I feel like it’s my baby?  Gestational surrogates are not genetically related to the baby.  The embryos are created by the parents and/or donors and the bun will get into my oven via IVF.  So, no, I won’t feel like it’s my baby because it’s not my baby.  I won’t be giving the baby up; I’ll be giving the baby back.  I’m simply going to babysit the little peanut until he or she is big enough to go home.  Will I love the baby?  Yes!  The same way I love my friends’ babies and my nieces and nephews!  I love them, I love hearing how they’re doing, I love visiting them – but I certainly don’t want to keep them!  🙂

Do I get paid to be a surrogate?  All the medical bills are covered by the intended parents and, yes, I do get compensated for my “pain and suffering” (nausea, transvaginal ultrasounds, insomnia, daily hormone injections, constipation, hemorrhoids, heartburn, childbirth, episiotomies, etc. etc. Can you really put a price on these things?).  I’m not doing it for the money. We are an upper class family, we do not need the money. I am not a destitute woman desperate for money and forced to “rent” my womb, as the Lifetime movies on surrogacy would have you believe. The money is nice (of course!) but what’s even better is the fact that I get to help someone become a parent.  When I think back to the moments when I held my babies for the very first time, the complete and utter happiness that I was feeling, the feeling of my heart exploding with love; and I think about being able to help someone else have those feelings and experience that life changing moment; that’s why I want to be a surrogate, that’s why I’m doing it.

I have always been passionate about families.  My undergraduate degree is in Family Social Science and my masters degree is in Family Education. I changed my major several times in college.  Nothing felt right until I discovered Family Social Science; this was the perfect fit for me.  Learning about all aspects of family life and parenting – it didn’t even feel like school to me, I love the content so much. I feel so strongly about the importance of family!!!

Surrogacy has always been something I knew I wanted to do once my family was complete. In fact, it’s one of the first things I told Shane about myself when we started dating.  It is not something that I enter into lightly.  I have been thinking about it since I was 16.  I have read every blog, forum, and article related to surrogacy that I could possibly find. Shane and I have spent countless hours talking about it.  I spent months researching which agency I want to work with.   I asked a million questions of the agencies that I spoke with.  And I feel confident in my agency choice and in their ability to guide me through my journey.

I am so excited to begin this journey!!!!

Letter To Intended Parents

Here is my letter that was included in my profile for potential intended parents:

Dear Parents,

Surrogacy has always been something I knew I wanted to do once my family was complete. Now that it is, I am so excited to begin this journey! Between my love of being pregnant and my passion for families – surrogacy just feels right.

I think of surrogacy as the most important babysitting job I could ever have. If I am your surrogate, I promise to love and protect your little peanut until he or she is big enough to go home.

I want to have a very open relationship with my intended parents, both during the pregnancy and after. I would hope that we could develop a comfortable friendship with one another.

I am a happy, genuine, loving person. My husband and I have four kids. Three boys ages 10, 8 and 5. And finally, a girl, age 1. My kids are my world! My boys are sweet, imaginative, and creative. Seeing their gentleness and love for their baby sister just melts my heart. My daughter, Luna Love, is very observant and contemplative and the princess of the house. 😉

I always dreamed of being a mom and the days that my children were born are the best days of my life! My dreams came true and now I can’t wait to help someone else’s dream come true!

Take care,

Screening Trip

A few weeks ago, Shane and I went to LA for our medical and psychological screenings.  The trip was great, even though we didn’t have a lot of free time.  It was nice to have a couple of kid free days together.

We were a little thrown off when we got to the agency for our screening appointment.  We walked into their office expecting a receptionist or someone there to greet us, but there was no front desk and no one in sight.  No place to check in or anything!  We waited a few minutes and then walked through the office until we found someone working in the back and let them know we were there.  I have to say, I felt disappointed and apprehensive at that moment.  There are so many agencies to choose from and it was such a difficult decision in deciding which agency to work with.  I guess I was expecting more of a welcome, maybe someone there excited to see us and saying how happy and excited they were that we’ve chosen their agency.

The psychological screening included a test on the computer for me, answering 500 yes/no questions.  Then Shane and I met with the psychologist for about an hour.  He was super nice and easy to talk to and Shane and I both really enjoyed our meeting with him.  We felt a lot better about the agency after our meeting too!

After the psychological screening we headed to the doctor’s office for the medical screening.  I had to give eight viles of blood (yes eight!!) and had a pap smear and a saline ultrasound.  The lab tech that did our blood draws was hilarious.  When I sat down to get mine done, he asked if I was gonna cry like my husband did.  And I guess when Shane sat down for his blood draw, the tech said that he’d be really quick in case Shane wanted to ditch me!  Ha!
The doctor said during my ultrasound that my uterus is beautiful and that whoever gets me is going to be very lucky.  Awe!  Well, now I can add “beautiful uterus” to my resume.  😉

So, it turns out we’re not crazy!  We passed our psychological screening!  Woohoo!  And all our labs came back normal so we passed the medical screening too.  Now, onto matching.

Shane and I on the beach in Santa Monica after our screening appointments.  We forgot our sunglasses so we had to buy these cheap, giant ones.  🙂

Match Meeting Tomorrow!

We have a match meeting tomorrow with our potential IFs (intended fathers)!  Our agency is facilitating our meeting via Skype since the IFs are international.  I am super excited and also nervous!  Will we like them? Will they like us?  Will it be really awkward?  Will we know right away if they’re the ones for us?  OR will we know right away if they’re NOT the ones for us.  On paper, this couple seems great! Shane and I both immediately felt really good about them after reading their profile.  If the meeting goes well, and we all agree to move forward, then the guys will be coming to visit us soon.

So exciting!  I can’t wait for tomorrow!